Friday, May 24, 2002

Well.... What can I say...
And ive leaned why i wont let myself spend the night another guy's house (or let them here). Its my social (or devoid of one) life. I have had my social fill, and I just feel more comfortable at home for some reason. I am weird...
Can't wait till summer school.
Dont compare yourself to others, espically me. You'll find out they're more messed up than you think.

Thursday, May 23, 2002

The Onion | America's Finest News Source
Well, today many things happened. To be honest, im not sure what to make of some of it.
I guess I'll start from the begining.
First and Second period were the awards ceremony. I got the "Most outstanding boy Nominee" award, but was not a finalist or winner.
Third period was orchestra. I ate at B lunch (I normally eat at C), and it was okay. Most of my friends were there.
Fourth period we read our thingys. Legends. Mine was about Ozzy Osbourne biting off a chicken's head. I got the least applause.
Fifth period we all sat there bored. Almost trough it we went to the
DANCE!
They played many songs. No techno =(. But, alot of good Disco =). I danced and had fun the whole time, durign the first 2 slow songs just standing around. I had much fun, learning a new good dance (more than one). I got thirsty most throug, and they ran outa cola. I pooped. No, actually, I was pooped. I couldn't hold on much longer, I was sweatign like a hog. That was near the end.
I prayed to god last night for me to lose myself, and it looks like he listened. I totally lost myself, though I did not lose my identity like I hoped.
And here lies the ends. Im out of ideas.
Other one only contains names. Should be sorta safe, considering some of the other ones ive written...

Tuesday, May 21, 2002

I could write about every detail of my life. But, instead, I'll go through my day then point ojut miscelanious things later.
Yesterday I had nothing to do. I came home, watched tv, got dressed and went to my concert. After it I ate at Arbys and re-inmstalled Tribes 2, playing it a bit. I wanted to see Lindsey there, but she wasn't. I wasnt expecting her to go, after all, it sucked cept for the symphony's music (the level i'm in).
Today:
1st period: We did geometry constructions. What fun. Cleaned out lockers. Threw all my shiznit away.
2nd period: Stupid film. Stared at girls most period.
3rd period: Sightread a song "I will follow him" from Sister Act. It sounded familiar... but was xtremely easy. Would have been very hard if i had sightread it half a year earlier.
4th period:Watched a dumb film in science about the space race. Answered a worksheet, stared at girls most period.
Lunch: Choir came back. Locks turned in. Got a buck.
5th period: Watched some Scooby Doo. I personally would not voletarily turn to CN to watch it, but it wasnt as bad as the powerpuff girls, at least.
6th period: Played bingo. Yesterday we learned the Petrite (pasT) forms of verbs.
7th period: Finished most of "Remember The Titans"

Now, for the part I hate.
I have a pet guinea pig. His name is Chuck. About 4 months ago, we found a tumor on his hiney. He is almost 6 years old I believe. Now, he will barely eat. He only eats when i give him food. He barely drinks. His cage is devoid of shit. I cried for him. He probibly got cancer, if he doesnt die of hunger, cancer will probibly kill him. I wish he would at least eat. He's gettign thin. If he does die, I will most certanly buy another one, but Chuck will never be replaced. I will refrain from posting about him again until he actually passes away.

Sunday, May 19, 2002

Amazon.com: Music Homepage
Heres some background on the story none of you know about:
Pretext

I have some confessions about writing this.
I created the character, Kazamae and Miku, out of my mind. I then drew them and gave them each personalities. The very first presence of them is in the notes of a PowerPoint slide show I did for Science. In that, they were replaceable superheroes. Their final form was a white gothic freak and a black Amazon. I kept the gothic freak, gave him a tan, and made him look tougher. Miku I totally changed and made a gorgeous brunette. In their only portrait, Kazamae has an attitude and is grabbing Miku’s ponytail while she watches him and laughs. His hair is red and flying everywhere. He wears a white tank top and baggy brown sweatpants. Miku has a ponytail with some short hairs sticking up on top of her head. She has a very tight pink t-shirt on and tight orange jeans. Kazamae is barefoot while Miku has some brown hiking boots on. That is the outfit both of them appear in this story in, but Miku changes early on and continuously changes while Kazamae only changes once, and that time is into practically the same clothes. That is enough about their outfits.
Like I said, I created these characters as superheroes. In a not-yet-written story, the two meet in their third grade class, and copy what a pair of boys are doing, arm-wrestling. Miku wins, and Kazamae comes over to her house that weekend to have some fun. They end up doing nothing but fighting, and they become partners, always training. Miku’s mom caught drift in seventh grade, not letting Kazamae live with them like Miyu got to after HIS parents died also. He could not live in the house alone, so he ran off into a forest. He has no relatives, so he was not looked for. He went to school still, and was still good friends with Miku. She would occasionally go train with Kazamae, and in the previous two summers spent almost the entire summer with them. After 8th grade, the girl and boy combo were in a park near the forest, just talking, and got jumped by some really bad crooks trying to steak Miku’s purse. Miku kicked the first one almost to death in anger, and in an attempt to show off, Kazamae did the same with the crook’s partner. These were two famous crooks, and the van they drove had a lot of stolen equipment in it. None other than the mayor himself rewarded Kazamae and Miku for their efforts. After that, they took on several unimportant crooks, and a villain that threatened the whole country faced two summers later. They ended up beating him AND his army of androids, and became nationally recognized as real-life superheroes, especially for their age. Two more villains again threatened country, and they defeated both. Then the evil mage, Camínroe, was the first worldly threat this duo faced. They beat him and his army of slaves, but had to learn a few power tricks of their own to do it. They both learned flying from Camínoe’s own description of how to do it, much to his distress. Kazamae ended finishing most of the army and won in a one on one duel between him and Camínroe himself. That summer was the first Miku spent the whole summer training with Kazamae, and there were no major threats until the time space this takes place in. Miku let herself rest for the last month, and in the beginning of their senior year at High School, Miku trained Miyu. Of course Miku was nowhere near her maximum, and took it very easy. After 2 months, Miyu and Miku stopped training, and Miku started training every weekend with Kazamae. Three weeks prior to this story, Kazamae wanted some time alone, so they stopped training. Kazamae still showed up to school, but did nothing but meditate, training his mind. At present time, Both Kazamae and Miku are of about equal strength, and a match would prove a close win. Kazamae’s meditation is the only thing that keeps it even, because Miku is naturally more talented with control, and grows quickly in mind-power as Kazamae takes a little training to get it right.
That being said, Kazamae is of course naturally ore talented than a normal girl, for he’s a guy. Guys grow in strength easily. But Miku is no ordinary girl, she grows in muscle strength very easily, at about a boys rate. So, that pretty much makes Kazamae an average guy, but very dedicated to his work. Miku is no everyday girl, she is very extraordinary in both her muscle power and mind-power, but also has a more-than-average potential to grow.

Some think of the following as a spoiler, so skip to intro if you don’t like spoilers.

As the story starts out, like said above, Kazamae and Miku are average strength. But, after this, Miku stops her training and becomes a Popular girl at school, dating many guys. However, Kazamae trains harder than ever, and Miyu with him to increase her newfound ability. Also later on, “Sound”, a mage and technological genius, builds a gravity machine that can magnify gravity up to 50x in a chamber, and soon has to boost it to 250x, then 500x. Then one day, Miku looks to talk to her friend, who is training with Kazamae. She goes into the forest, and faces an evil opponent. Kazamae takes care of the problem, but more come. Miku ends up training in the gravity chamber, which she conquers quickly. Then, Sound takes them to the Lookout, which looks over the earth, where they train in a chamber that slows time with gravity 200x that as earth. A year in there is one week on earth. As they train, Sound and Miyu have to fight off the new recruits for General _____’s army, who are soon joined by Ayla, who Sound has to escort to the gravity chamber, where she conquers in a day, then fights with Sound and Miyu until Kazamae and Miku return, where she enters the time chamber and splits to train against herself. Her split form is half as strong, but once re-combined, they are twice as strong as split. Once Ayla re-emerges, she defeats General _____‘s army easily where Kazamae and Miku failed. Then, the two mages and three fighters cannot kill Android General _____. So, Sound teaches Miyu a special technique that is so strong it requires two people, and they defeat him with it.

Plans for the future:
Kazamae and Miku marry, new force comes, Kazamae and Miku’s child gets involved, travel to another planet…
Once I think about it, take away the mages and this is remarkably like Dragon Ball Z.
FunkyPages.com - Good fun, great humor!
Really funny page. Gots some humor to it.

IT went well. You know whaT IT is. IT is described a week back about this day.

Noting on my mind, just bored. Well, okay, maybe not.
Im thinking... Am I really pure? I already know its a NO, but at IT today Bowser (the "preacher", so to speak) said "You can come up and ask me for help with your lust, but if you look at porn that night, unh nuh". That really affects me. Its like I get into this trance, and at one point about 2 months back, it fixated on me. I was constantly in this trance, in my world 24/7. I think Ayla (see a couple days back for the "Ayla/Trance/Bedroom" incident where I lost my idenity). About two weeks back, when I first went to IT, I lost the feeling. I felt so pure and ridden of my dirtyness. But, the purity, like any sudden extreme change, wore off. It kept chipping off. After a while, my trance was almost completely back. Until today. Now, I will force myself to rid the trance. Just like when I decided to work out this summer. Work out from when I wake up wednesday, to 12PM. That may vary a bit, but I will try to keep it to at LEAST 3 hours. In that time, I will start by weight-lifting, then maybe run, come back, lift a bit more, then take a shower (I will take showers morningly, not nightly) and go about my day as if nothign happened.
A part of my inner g33k will never recover. But, it will last me a lifetime.
No more. I bid you farewell.



I will NEVER force ANYONE to do anything that they do not want to do. Thats from riding a rollercoaster, to singing, to forging, to havign sex. If they do not want to, not even after pushing, I will not force them.
I push, I encurage, but if they no give in, I release. I DO NOT promise to never do something that someone else says I shouldn't do, even if I should. But, it just inst enjoyable if your partner doesnt like it, so Im not even going to force people.






If you're reading this far, thank you for not just closing your browser. Here is what I have taken careful note of today:
Morning: Remembered a person I know could swim, aparently well. I'd like to race that person. But Im fat and ugly, and not any prettier in a bathing suit (acne clearing up, backne NOT). And, even if i lost weight, I'd get an unfair advantage. Also remembered that girls cannot flex their muscles, least not like guys. And its hard to tell a strong woman from a slightly cubby one (cept for amazons. FREAKS!).
Entering house: Mom has Metallica on WAY too loud, aparently "falling asleep" to it. I could NEVER fall asleep to something that loud. Not even upstairs.
At Lowes: I notice that my stregnth has in fact INCREASED, at least relitive to my friends. Arm-wrestling Friday with my friends proves that I am much stronger than two of them, but not as strong as my other friend who Still reigns, but he is a bit weaker.
I could bench 3/8 of my weight when I entered 7th grade. When I exit 8th grade, I will be able to bench 3/4 my weight. And I have gained 50 pounds (bench from 60 to 120, DOUBLING. Weight going from 165 to 210. Speed TRIPLING in the 400 frim 2:40 (first time I TRIED and was measured) to 1:50, probibly back to 2:00 by now.

Im bored. I was bored when I started. Im not any more releived now.
My personality is so silly at the movies, not all shy and solumn like at "public gatherings". I guess the movies is the only place where I relax. That and around my old pals.

Poll: should I give this site to people? And if so, who? Who out of the people Ive previously mentioend (dig though the old archives of "My Life", if you feel like speekign to me afterwords. If not, DONT.) should I give this to?
Mail me with the answeres (subject="POLL", body only has to say "Yes/No". I will reply if requested, and display currtent count (if and when any) when i post, like daily. )
DO NOT LOOK AT TODAYS POST IN OTHER SECTION.
Dont go deep sea diving, there's some pretty scary fish.
Dont compare yourself to others, espically me. Otheres are more messed up than you think.